There's no more appropriate title for this post.
I just took probably 15 minutes and way too much over thinking trying to figure out how to write this. I don't want to go into detail. It's a little embarrassing. I haven't written in a while about what's been going on in my life. I need to ventilate it and maybe no one will read this because I'm not going to post it on Facebook and I don't know if anyone actually follows my blog anyway. Just needed a place for release and some mindless babbling and ranting in between.
So these past months of me being back in PA have definitely been anything but boring. A lot of changes are happening and I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of what I want in life and going for it head on. I also feel like there are probably multiple blog posts on here alone that sound similar to this one; I'm always talking about revelations and changing myself. It almost feels like bullshit.
I was so excited and sure and ready when I got accepted to the Art Institute in Nashville. I thought, "Man, this is it. This is my school." I was the one who watched as endless people just left and I always said that would never be me; I was going to graduate from there. I wore my shirt proudly. "Become an Art Institute graduate…or compete with one." Now it makes me sick when I want to wear it.
But things happen. Plans change, directions change, and sometimes people leave you hanging. So I'm not depending on anyone anymore. I'm doing this for myself; not for him. A state school is just as good and 10 times cheaper. Something I can afford on my own. Which he's still telling me I won't be able to; that I have no idea what I'm in for, that I have no clue and that one day I'll see that he was right.
yeah …
I have 2 schools picked out … meaning I have 4 and 2 that I realllllly want to go to. Bloomsburg, Cal U, Mansfield, and Temple; in order of desire. Not hating on Temple. Good school. I just don't know if I really want to live in Philly again and I'm not commuting. Ok, so I really don't want to go to Temple but it's nice to have a third back up. Hopefully I won't need 3 back up plans but we'll see. I have an awesome letter of recommendation from Leslie Haines who is the chair of graphic design at AI and I had really good grades when I was there. High school … eh … I got ok grades.
I sent out the applications this past Tuesday, my transcripts and letter of recommendation on Wednesday and now the waiting begins. I may go nuts. I hate waiting. Ok, not waiting in general, but waiting for something really important to happen. It's a tough thing. In the meantime I'm going to continue to work at Ovi and save money to move and take care of the things that I need to take care of.
Right now I'm just living it day by day. Some are harder than others but most are pretty good. I'm trying to keep a smile on my face and continue moving forward.
I miss you.
